If asked to name a genius, many people would answer, “Albert Einstein”. Although he changed how we see the world, he experienced many setbacks. As a child, he did not learn to speak until he was four years old and was seven before he started to read. Although he had mastered higher-level mathematics by fourteen, at sixteen, he failed the entrance exam to train as an electrical engineer. As we know, he overcame these challenges and went on to win the Nobel Prize in Physics.
At times, we all face the challenge of breaking through limitations and adversity, which is a universal part of being human. There are some days when we feel on top of the world and others where we feel small, contracted, and insignificant. One of the reasons is that we are wired to respond to things that appear negative or threatening. Even a single-celled amoeba will withdraw from a threat in its environment, so it’s no surprise that we naturally learn to protect ourselves during our childhood. The trouble is that what may have been useful for a time as a small child, often becomes an obstacle when we are doing our best to lead a happy and fulfilling life as an adult
The society we live in also plays a major role in shaping our limitations. There are also the various roles we play at work and in our personal lives that come with sets of beliefs and behaviours. All of these can potentially end up defining who we are, the self we wake up as every morning. Although the limiting stories and beliefs we hold about ourselves are very powerful, the truth is that many of them are self-imposed. When these thoughts are compounded with emotions like anxiety, low self-worth, and physical tension and stress, we end up with a limiting state that sets the baseline on how we normally feel. And we can go up and down around this baseline, depending on how things are going for us at any one time.
We can break through limitations when we realize that we have the freedom and power to change and create our own space that contains how we think, feel and act. We don’t have to passively accept our own habitual and self-imposed limitations. We are always more than our thoughts and emotions and more than the various roles we play in our lives.
Through practise, we can learn to observe our thoughts and emotions; seeing thoughts as just mental content and emotions as subjective feelings that arise. Thoughts and emotions are not facts and are not always the most reliable guide to reality. Of course, thoughts and emotions can be useful and very powerful. So, we need to be careful that they do not define and limit who we are. By developing our awareness, we can access a more expansive space that’s outside the normal limiting baseline sense of who we are.
With awareness, we’re more likely to notice the presence of a limiting state. Transforming and breaking through the limiting state can be like being on holiday, looking across a broad landscape with a wide-open horizon; feeling a sense of freedom and openness, with a fresh perspective that we seemed to have forgotten. Taking this approach, we can observe that we sometimes feel inadequate and imperfect with kindness and self-compassion. As the psychologist, Carl Rogers put it, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
Here is an approach to overcoming limitations:
- Turn your attention to the here and now by noticing your body and breath. Once you are more aware of what’s going on, you’ll be more able to let go of limiting thoughts and emotions.
- The next step is to acknowledge the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations that may be symptoms or even the cause of feeling limited.
- Accept and allow what you find just as it is; taking on the viewpoint of a curious observer by labelling thoughts and emotions like “limiting beliefs”, or, “there’s some feeling of limitation”.
- Then expand your awareness to your senses; sending your hearing out to the most distant sounds you can hear.
- Rest in that sense of stillness and spaciousness for a few moments, open to new possibilities and insights as you shift from reacting unconsciously, to skilfully responding to whatever arises in your experience.
It’s not that breaking through limitations will fulfil your wildest dreams overnight, but by consistently taking a more aware, compassionate, and open approach; creating your own space, free from self-imposed limitations, you’re much more likely to find contentment and be successful in achieving your goals.
Suggested weekly practice
- Check-in with yourself during the day and see what limiting thoughts and emotions are around with openness, kindness, and curiosity.
- If the limiting feeling has been around for many years, sit with your eyes closed and focus on the area where the feeling resonates in your body as you acknowledge what the emotion is telling you, relax that part of the body, and allow the feeling to release in its own time.
- Notice negative, limiting, and habitual automatic thoughts and beliefs. As you observe them, realize that you are not your thoughts. Value positive automatic thoughts that are expanding, and nurturing, and discard automatic negative thoughts that are limiting and no longer serve you.
Guided practice
Find somewhere undisturbed and sit in a comfortable, dignified, and upright posture, where you can remain alert and aware.
There are two guided practices for this session. You can close your eyes or lower your gaze while the meditations play.
- Play the first settling practice, then read the session content, which you can print off if that helps.
- Then play the second practice to explore and experience accepting yourself as you really are and creating the space, free from self-imposed limitations.
